I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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