break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
