I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize