it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
