SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
