my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
