I think I am morally bankrupt
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
