just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
