The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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