actually, I'm a sock model
...so i touched it.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
