my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
