My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude i'm inner monologue high
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
