Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
there was a trapeze. enough said
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
