Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
