I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
