you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I intend to get homeless drunk
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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