I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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