idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
