I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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