You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Porn is love you can see.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
