I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
