she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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