I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
