suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize