Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
