In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
