im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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