So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
