Non-Jews are for practice
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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