If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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