If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize