My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
