none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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