Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
