tell your sister to shave her snatch
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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