I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
