; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
don't judge my taste in strippers
Randomize
