I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
