i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize