I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The adults are the big ones right?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
