oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
