I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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