Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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