I just threw up on my dentist
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Found your dick twin last night
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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