The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
