I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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