also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
