ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Randomize