You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
