I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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