Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
