the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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