$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
