You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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