the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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