i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
