apparently the secret to your success is patron
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
