im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize